This little rant brought to you by the letter F and instigated by Eggs in a row.
So, the other day I was in the middle of a discussion. Middle in the physical sense, not really participating. Actually I was kinda trying to ignore it for the most part since it was baby talk. Future baby talk to be exact.
The jist: “We’re just going to wait until I finish school and then we’ll get pregnant…I’m going to have three children…”.
I couldn’t bite it back at that point. “Oh really?! You are? Just like that?” I may or may not have added in something else a little snippy but I can’t actually remember it so I can’t count it. What made this whole thing rub the wrong way?
A) She knows my history? Yes, but not the problem
B) She was in a room of at least three women, wait make that four, that have suffered miscarriages in the last few years (although nothing saying they weren’t just “coincidence”). Nope, that wasn’t it.
C) Common sence dictates that you can’t always get what you want and if you make a plan life with fuck you over? Nope, that still wasn’t it.
D) I was just being emotional since this was at the end of the baby shower I was at? Honestly no, this would have done it anyways. (speaking of the timing can you tell that this has been bugging me all week?).
What really did me in was the fact that she has had 3…THREE! miscarriages before she’s even been trying. Don’t you just want to turn around and say “What the FUCK!? You KNOW better!” Or at least she should.
Maybe I should just congratulate her on her ignorance. We all wish we still had it. I just couldn’t understand it.
Holy Crap! You can't talk about miscarriage! 
See, I don’t know if we should be happy for her that she is still really optimistic, or worried that she is so delusional…personally, I think you had amazing restraint. Seriously amazing. I know I would of said something like, “Years of heartbreaking infertility has made me so crazy, you are so brave to be blasé!”. Which sounds really catty when spoken aloud. 😉
I adore that if you can’t remember snippy comments, they don’t count 🙂
I guess it’s good to have dreams?
And you know I’d count them if I could. I’m more the type to show my flaws.
Whoa, wait, SHE has had 3 m/c pre-TTC? First off, DOES SHE KNOW HOW BABIES ARE MADE? (at least for the fertiles who can accidentally get k/u)
Secondly, she should definitely know better. WTH???
People are idiots. Insensitive, delusional idiots.
If I didn’t love this girl as much as I do, I may have thrown something at her just for saying it. Even on the “don’t jinx yourself” stand point. And good point, I should ask her how she manages to get k/u so easy/ by accident (same diff)….
It really blows me away that there are so many out there that just take it for granted that they will have such and such amount of kids and such and such job and live in such and such house. It is good to say what you want and to have dreams but to make those statements like you are just going to take it for granted…especially after having been through a miscarriage…it just smacks of ignorance.
Love and light,
Lucky Star
http://www.victimnomore.wordpress.com
Mom of 9 angel babies and 1 living teenager
Hubby and I just stared in shock that she of all people said it. We can’t bring ourselves to take any of that stuff for granted anymore and I guess it just kinda blew our minds that someone in a similar situation would.
That bitch be living by a river in egypt. Seriously.
(I can’t pull that off, can I?)
Just let her live in her little world of denial. Honestly? I kind of feel sorry for her.
I have a friend who talks all the time about the MONTH she going to get pregnant. I just listen to her babble while inside I’m wondering what planet she’s living on. People are just so clueless sometimes. I wasn’t even there and what happened rubs me the wrong way!
THANK YOU! I just had a friend who knows my 3 miscarriage history speak very confidently about how she is now starting to try. I felt like it was almost cocky of her. I gave her hints but she doesn’t get it. THANK YOU for your blunt, funny, painfully true blog. I finally feel like I belong, reading your posts. I feel so left behind. Like I don’t have a group. But I love the term “infertiles”. That’s me! It takes strength to go through this, but its only the darkness before the dawn. I am with you!
Well, I think I’m hillarious…but I’m usually alone in that thought 😉
Thanks for reading and I’m glad that you can come away from this knowing you’re not alone and that we still have hope for us infertiles. I’m sorry for your losses but I’m glad your here.