Archive for January, 2011


Is buying sperm illegal in Canada?

Slightly depressing song, but I think it’s really pretty

I’m so confused right now. I was reading Yolks post on Sex and the City and one of the comments had a link commenting on fertility laws in Canada

http://www.ctv.ca/CTVNews/TopStories/20110128/w5-assisted-human-reproductive-medicine-110128/

Now this may come off as SUUUUPER ignorant, but I’m thinking what laws? Ok, I’d get that there are laws about how the Dr.’s have to care for us and not do unethical things and such, but I’m reading this and it’s saying ” And anyone who bought or offered to buy the basic ingredients of human life could be fined up to $500,000 or face 10 years in jail.” HWHAT the HHELL?! When did this happen? Well, according to this article it was in 2004. This makes no sense to me. What happened to sperm donors? Wasn’t that kinda the hollywood joke for a while, if you’re strapped for cash you go donate sperm?

Now I only recently discovered egg donation, I didn’t know that was possible, let alone a thing. I was however informed when I was in school that there was in fact a penial implant (although I’m not aware of the details, just that my teacher had a patient with one once). But since discovering that you could get donor eggs, that’s brought a new option to people in that problem category. So I figured that was good.

But now I read this and it’s saying it’s illegal in Canada. But why? whats the difference to getting a donor egg vs a surrogate mother? or adoption (except that you get to carry the baby that is of another’s eggs)? I just don’t get how this is illegal. I don’t see anything immoral about it. Now it did mention about the “anyone caught paying or offering to pay” portion, do I guess donation is ok? provided that you can find someone who loves you enough to give you their eggs or sperm?

It just seems wrong to try and make that illegal (not to mention that it says it’s completely abstract in the laws and not well inforced). I had a friend a few years back and both her and her sister were via donor sperm and their parents just hadn’t told them (no shock there) and they only found out after he died and it was brought to light that he had a condition that also made him sterile. But these two girl were brought into this family who loved them and wanted them, and they had just needed some sperm. So are you saying that my friends creation would now be illegal? Because that’s just fucked.

It just made me a bit angry.

And if that was what I needed to do, I’d find a way to do it.

So now to distract myself with Dragon age

Need more

I’m getting kinda hungry right now. I shouldn’t be. Only 4 hours ago I was so stuffed I thought I’d hurl, but now I am re-craving my brunch.

In lue of an actual day with Hubby last night (he pulled a 12 hr brewing session trying to get their different beers ready for competition and was too tired when he got back) he took me for brunch this morning. The first place we tried was a fail because it’s raved about enough that I guess people are willing to line up for over 30 minutes to get in. We on the other hand didn’t care enough to wait so we went to the cheese cake factory…

Thanks for reminding me I have cheesecake, BRB.

That’s a bit better. It’s apple, which is different, but pretty tasty…but not as tasty as my brunch. I had “california Benedict” which was (obviously) eggs Benedict but with bacon, tomato, guacamole, and the most perfectly poached egg I’ve ever had (by a long shot) and a nice zesty hollandaise sauce. I’m going to be honest, I know nothing really about cooking (other than the basics) but I need to find a way to make this at home. And then there was also fresh melon combo (but I’m allergic to honeydew so I avoided that one so I wouldn’t look like I had a bad botox incident) and “brunch potatoes” which was mashed potatoes with cheddar, onion and some spice that I couldn’t place that gave it a kick. Simple enough meal, but it was just SO DAMN GOOD! And I’m kinda ruining my cheesecake talking about this. Poor cheesecake, you did nothing wrong, you just aren’t as good as my eggs. I feel crazy just saying that.

If I could make this brunch at home, I’d be singing like this during the process.

hehehehawhawhaw

Ok, it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. The specialist wasn’t the crazy cow she was last time and  if I’m not mistaken, I think she actually smiled some.

Everything with hubby turned out good so far, not allergic to his own sperm or anything, counts are good, and his basic blood work is good. I had a vaguely different story. My u/s showed that post HSG I still had fluid in my Lt tube and apparently that should have drained out already. So she said it may not be the best of tubes. Although my Lt ovary is the one that I’m always rooting for because it’s the one that I know works. My son and my Darla (first miscarriage) were both from my Lt and I never found out regarding my second miscarriage d/t being too shocked at being told that there was a blighted ovum. I still intend to get that info.

The second “thing of noteworthiness” was that I have a clotting issue. I’m thinking I know, if I check my blood sugar it takes me 15 minutes to stop bleeding and I like getting other people to check for me and not tell them I’m a bleeder just because I have a slightly sick sense of humour . But she said no. She said that I have thrombophilia which is the broad term for clotting too much. You’re shitting me right? If I’m a super clotter how am I such a bleeder? And apparently looking on wikipedia, this is known for being related to recurrent miscarriages. So that’s a maybe of whats happened. I can’t find where I saw it to reference but it was related to something like 5 or 15% of miscarriages after 10 weeks. Maybe I read that wrong….I have to do more looking.

And of course Hubby took off this morning with the sheet in the car (she gave me a copy of the test but I’m not sure if I’m supposed to put in my files or give to my Dr…) so now I can’t remember what type of thrombophilia it is but it has to do with an S and C protein ?antigen?/ ?antibody? deficiency. So I guess that’s two types according to wikipedia, I don’t know yet if they often come together. Anybody know anything about this? cause I haven’t had a chance to do my research yet. But she said it’s hereditary so either my mummy has or my dad had it. My mummy’s sister had a PE (pulmonary embolism) a few years back, and there are a lot of heart attacks on that side of the family so maybe that’s it. I’d have to ask my Dad’s mom of she knows anything on that side of the family. Isn’t it nice to have your fertility specialist tell you you are at an increased risk for heart attack and stroke?! strangely that didn’t bother me so much, but it sure has my mom in a twist. Specialist said she’d have me go on baby aspirin every day “As soon as I’m pregnant?”, “No, today”, “oh”. And she’s giving me a referral to clotting specialist to see what he thinks.

yay 😦

So, after dinner last night Hubby, Monster and I went over to see some friends and had a great visit. Mummy picked up Monster at about 9:30 so we stayed there untill 1:30 playing warcraft cards. It was a great time, almost as good as D&D except that nothing will ever be as good as D&D and as soon as this same buddy puts another campaign together I shall be making regular appearances as an evil NPC. I had a great time, took out some of my frustrations by smiting every attempt our DM (dungeon master) could make. Hubby had some beers and I discovered that I like a true pilsner (no, not that Saskatchewan stuff) along with a dark lager and because I could only taste and not drink (for risk of antagonizing my alcohol allergy and having a violent not to mention potentially delusional style vomit fest) I also was reminded how much I miss beer. I’ve always been a beer girl…even though at my best before my allergy kicked in, I’d have two in an evening. But I like the way it tastes.

And I’m a MILF (as stated in an oddly polite fashion by my best friends cousin that I just met last night). Thank you Miles, you made my night.

So I guess that’s four things: Tube not great, Thrombophilia, Beer, MILF!

CD 21

So we’ve got our follow-up today and I just looked at the weather forecast. 15-25cm of snow expected by tomorrow night. Holy Crap! I’m used to the 10-15, but this is getting ridiculous. Now I’m freaking out that I’m not going to be able to get back here  and we’ll be stuck at my moms all weekend. Normally that wouldn’t be a problem but I’ve got three cats here that would sorely miss their food and water. Ya, I’ll be loading them up before I go, but still, it’s got me a bit nervous. Last snow (about a week and a half ago I think) we had to get dug out of our driveway by the nice guy with a backhoe from the construction site next door to us. He didn’t even ask, just too one look at us and drove over and started digging. I love him. And that was a 10-15cm snow…but it was super crazy wind so you couldn’t see the end of your driveway and it was a mix of 3 foot tall waves of snow and bare ground. Yay for having a state of emergency declared in your town d/t blindness. Watch out Elphaba, you’ll be getting this in a few days…just maybe not so drastic.

So I’m probably projecting some of my nervousness about my appointment towards the snow, but still. I just know they aren’t going to find anything. Every part of me is saying “why bother going?” Am I a little negative about this? And I’m still wanting to know why the hell it’s supposed to be 6 months for the chromosome labs. I think this process is making me bitter.

CD 20 DPO 0?

Have you ever taken a look at the “refered” section of your site stats, showing where people are finding your blog from? I’m sure you have, but some of them just don’t make any sense. Today I see “http://lol-snaps.com/russian-drunk-yoga-poses” and may I say I got a good laugh when I looked at the page. But how the hell does my blog end up listed as a refered link on this page? really?! What do I have to do with a bunch of apparently drunk russians with people doing yoga poses of their pass out stances? Very confusing.

So I finally talked to Hubby about our situation in the bedroom and requesting that he wear the cape of The Instigator (I’m not sure if said character is a hero or villain yet) at times and I tried to keep it as casual and brief a conversation as possible. Once past the initial shock (no hubby wants to be told they aren’t doing their duties to your liking) he agreed to make an effort to step it up a notch. YAY! So lets just say I had a pleasant wake up this morning 😉

But of course I still have no rise in my temps. And this month isn’t even one of those all over cycles. I’ve been super steady in temps here and I’m not  varying more than 0.03 degrees (celsius).  I even took another OPK yesterday because I noticed some egg-white CM!…and a negatory. I think it was just fluke CM because I’ve been post-ov style dry all week.

We finally have a follow-up with the fertility specialist tomorrow. they said they wouldn’t have the results of our chromosomal blood work, but they’ll have the other stuff. I’m struggling with this feeling that we’re going to go in there just to hear “we’ve got nothing and we’ll have to wait and see about the other labs when they come” and it will have been a waste of a drive into town. Well, I get to see my mom at least, we’re going to stay at her place tomorrow so that Hubby doesn’t have to drive back into town for beer brewing buddy time on saturday and then I get saturday to visit more with mummy and maybe even a date night with Hubby saturday evening! We don’t get many of those, but the ones we do get are really just simple dinner and a movie. I’d kinda like a date night of video games to be honest, lol.

On an up side, I’m feeling good today…not quite the insane ecstatic of yesterday, but good. I’m happy, not exhausted, and looking forward to having Hubby on days off for the next 6 days.

It’s stuck and I love it

Dr. Horrible and I have been having a lovely morning bonding. I finally have him on my ipod and so all morning he’s been singing to me (isn’t that romantic? lol). I got a few strange looks at bible study today when I’d being walking around giggling to myself or sitting there with a silly grin on my face. What’s Dr. Horrible doing at bible study? Well, I don’t choose the music of the day, it chooses me. And every time I listen to this it makes me feel like a kid. I don’t know the logic there, maybe just because it’s funny. Monster and I were also able to practice our maniacal laughter in the parking lot on the way to the car. You should try it some time, acting silly in public is oddly theraputic (like breaking into song and dance at the supermarket…you’re thinking you don’t want to come shopping with me now, is it?)

And I recall that not all the world is familiar with one of my favorite shows, so I thought I would do a little sharing. My favorite Dr. horrible parts.

And Hemlock, here’s for you

I always said that I wasn’t afraid of heights, just of falling. I have always loved climbing up, but then there is that pesky getting down portion. I hate having to go back down. I get dizzy just going down stairs. Can’t you just go up forever and eventually it will get you back to where you started?

When I was reading this post, the part about leg exercises, note that I can get sidetracked very easily, it reminded me of the days when I was little. A little kids I mean, I know dwarves (whats the politically correct term “little people”? frig, I’ve never been politically correct in my life, I’m not intentionally offensive) taller than me. Really, I went to Jr. High with the guy.

So, when I was a kid I used to stand on the arm of the couch and just fall back (on to the couch). Arms out, up, by my side, didn’t matter. I used to fall back  and just feel the butterflies in my stomach and the air wooshing by me, then that fun bounce at the end when you hit. I would do that over and over again. I’m sure many of you did this a bunch too (or at least I think it’s a normal childhood activity).

I don’t think I’ve ever fallen off anything unintentionally, so where did this fear of falling come from? When did I stop thinking that falling was anything but butterflies in my stomach? Maybe it was when the trampoline came in and I discovered (yes as a child) my bad back. It’s actually hurt to jump on that stupid thing. But have you even been on a flying fox? Ok, I don’t know what it would have been called where you were, but all it was was a super long cord attached a long ways away and you are harnessed to the little glidey-do-hickey and off you go, flying through the air. It’s wonderful. Of course the only one I know of is at a kids camp and I no longer have access there.

I  think what I would really love to do is to find a good high climbing wall, get up to the top, and just let go. Of course I’d warn the dude at the other end of my rope to be fair, but it always looks so much fun on tv.

well Frack!

 You want to know what really chaps my ass? I just used a HPT instead of an OPK.

What a waste of a pee.

CD 18 DPO 0?

Ever since last night I’ve been trotting along with the song “who’s afraid of the big bad cheese” stuck in my head. For most of my life I’ve pretty much had no point in which there wasn’t a song stuck in there and last night, this was it. “Big bad cheese”? Ya, I know, it’s supposed to be wolf, but Monster is now at the point where he changes the words of everything and I’m just glad it’s not “poop” for a change.

This all started because I was too lazy to pull out a story book so I decided to spout one off from mostly memory (because I can only mostly remember it). And every time it came to singing the song, he changed the words. I thought it was cute, so we kept singing it and flapping around and then I remember my dream…

I’m completely content in a noisy house of crazy monster children. Three or four of them, singing and dancing, very much like a big party but it’s made up of me and my children. I could gather them in a little circle and tell them stories while they participate in parts. The older ones can start telling stories of their own. We could all play together and never be lonely or bored. And when Daddy gets home he’d have a doggy-pile of monsters all trying to be the first to get a hug and a kiss. Then at the end of the day Hubby  and I  would fall into bed, exhausted but fulfilled, and smile at the thought of our crazy happy kids…then maybe pretend to make some more (because I don’t think I’d need more after four…but I’d still take them). I could have my strong-headed children that all took care of and loved each other very much and were super close and knew that family came first. The movie cheaper by the dozen makes a bit angry jealous.

I want it so bad. And knowing that my Monster should have 2 siblings and that they were taken away from us just kills me even more when I think about my dreams of the future.

So today is a song for which I am incapable of being stressed during.

I remember nothing

Nora Ephron was on some show a while ago…it ‘s actually amusing that I can’t remember which it was considering what I am posting. I guess she’s a…let me look here…director/ writer. She did “you’ve got mail”, of course that means very little to me. I’m one of those people who may know faces or names, but rarely put them together. Of course with her, I didn’t know face or name. What caught my attention was the book they were promoting “I remember nothing”. I just about wet my pants with that giggle. It hit way too close to home.

I don’t think I’ve explained my issue before. I have the memory of a goldfish. It’s not me being mean to myself, it’s me joking about my ridiculous memory. My crazy obsession with sticky notes? my constantly filled and checked agenda? how do I still manage to miss my MOPS meetings or nearly forget to take my son to school or (this one really sucked) miss a scheduled teaching day at work because  “no, I have that written in for Wednesday”…”It is Wednesday”.  This is why I can watch the same stuff over and over or re-read my favorite books.

At one point in the interview she was talking about seeing some woman in the mall and trying to figure out who she was. She looked so familiar and was smiling at her…and it was her sister…who she was there to meet. And then I remembered the embarrassing time when I was out dancing with my buddies and I was staring at this girl thinking “wow, she has got some amazing legs on her”…and then I realized I had been staring at my cousin for a good few minutes. Or at my dad’s funeral when I asked the man comforting me who he was…and he was my uncle. And not just any uncle, he was one of my favorites! WHAT THE HELL hey?

The upside of the issue is that I adapt instantly to new scenarios. When something changes it’s almost like it was never any other way. I get to read through my old travel journals and think “seriously!? I have no recollection of this event”. Kinda annoying at times, but I forget to be annoyed after a bit, lol.

At least I remember the big stuff…I think

p.s. what’s with all these video’s being “embedding disabled”?