Too many people are afraid to speak about miscarriage and I want others to become more aware of how common it really is and about how tragic it is to experience.
I am the mother of three but I only have one child.
Both babies that I have lost were desperately loved and wanted. My first loss I knew was coming, and the stress and waiting nearly made me lose my mind. My second loss was very unexpected and yet almost worse because we thought that everything was going so well.
People will never learn about what we go through unless we share (which is not easy). it also seems that some people we do talk to have googled “what not to say to a woman after a miscarriage” and said everything they shouldn’t. The loss of our children is not something we get over. Yet people often forget that when we miscarry, we lose a child. It is not the loss of the pregnancy, but the loss of what our pregnancy was giving us. Our babies.
Going through this makes you feel so alone, scared and angry. Having sympathetic friends and family is good, but to have someone who can empathize, that has been there, really makes a difference. I want people to be able to share with others that can really understand and help them to heal. I want people to know they are not alone.
Thank you for this. As someone who’s the mother of 9 but with only 1 child (wow, it seems especially crazy when it’s typed out) I can totally relate to a lot of what you’re going through. I’m thankful you’re doing this. I’m glad there are people out there willing to break the cone of silence about miscarriage and loss.
I think by nine I may be curled up in the corner of a looney bin, I can’t believe you’ve made it through that. I’m so sorry for your loss. talking to people and raising awareness is awkward but has been a great therapy for me.
Well #5 was the one that stuck, so he gave me enough hope to continue on for another 5. One more try before we move on (we’re balanced translocation). I agree with you, talking to people about our losses helps, even when it can get awkward. Which is why I was so relieved when I found your blog, it’s nice to read about someone else who understands.
I’m glad you found your therapy but I’m also truly sorry you need to do this at all.