Tag Archive: HPT


Peer presure pee

I feel like doing the things I keep telling other people not to do. I feel like peeing on sticks.

I’m not just doing it for the sake of it though, I’ve got some reasons. Well, one reason. My boobs. I wouldn’t say they are bigger but they definitely feel fuller. I asked Hubby this morning if my boobs felt different and he (after the necessary grope) gave me a weird look “Ya, they feel harder. Why?”. “Well, I think I could be pregnant”.

By this time I’ve already peed on one of my ovulation strips (cause it’s all I have around anymore) for no result and I tell him I want to go get an early detection test. I feel silly. I always tell people just to wait a few more days and use the cheap regulars, but I really want a drink.

*Hubby just arrived back from the store with the test*

Tonight is my 30th birthday party. I REALLY wanted to be able to go out and have a few drinks with my friends (or in my new case two weak ones… maybe three weak ones throughout the afternoon eve). Even just one! I haven’t been able to sit and have a drink with my friends in so many years and now that my body it finally able to tolerate a small amount of alcohol… it’s the wrong time of month and I think I might be pregnant.

“Wasn’t that the goal?”, some might say. Of course it is, totally not the point right now though.

Let’s go check the damn test.

Negative. Maybe I didn’t want that drink as much as I thought.

I’m due in 3 days and this is supposed to tell 5 days before. I guess the boobs are just a side effect of the clomid. That’s just plain deceitful. My love affair with my pricey frist response HPT is over. I’m done. I don’t want to be its friend anymore. It may think it’s cool, but it’s a jerk.

Stick waster

I feel like a stick waster. I know, go ahead and point your fingers! I just wasted my last two HPT’s and now…I don’t know what to do, I’ve never run out before (which is what happens when you buy them in bulk). I’m debating if I should buy another bulk order or just say to hell with it. Having them around only makes us more inclined to psych ourselves up, right. But I do like the OPTION of being able to POAS when I feel the need/ curiosity/ random desire to punish myself. So refresh me, is it HPT’s that can work as OPK sticks or the other way around.

Today is CD 27 and I went for the good ol’ POAS on day 24 and day 26. And here I keep telling you guys to hold out. I’m usually good for it, but for some reason I actually had hope this month. I should have known better, hope means a definite -HPT.

I hate this game. HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE.

Hate.

Just incase you were wondering, there’s some hate in there.

Pity party, I’ll bring the banana bread!

Ok, my pity party actually started this morning at Monster’s music class. The teacher (who I also found out is also a coroner and now I keep picturing her singing and dancing while she’s doing autopsies) played Puff the Magic Dragon for the kids. It reminded me of when I was little and my dad used to sing this to me and replace the land name with my name so Puff lived in “a land called ShaunaLee”.  It’s a silly little thing, but it’s one of the few nice memories of my dad and it’s got me stuck in the “I want my daddy” mode now.

Is there a time limit on wallowing? How long do I get for not pregnant and no daddy?  An hour? A few hours? Doesn’t matter so long as I suck it up before Hubby gets home?

 

My skin hates me

Seriously, it hasn’t been this bad since I was pregnant with my son. I feel like puberty has kicked back in full force to make up for the fact that my skin had been pretty decent over the last few years or so. But no more I guess. I got awful skin and no pregnancy to show for it (yes, I took an HPT today. NEGATIVE!???? get out of town!)

Ya, I’m on CD 32? I think it said 32 when I popped in my temp this morning. But I’m not caring enough to check again. And I’m kinda at the point still where I don’t care right now. I just need to not think about it. I don’t know how long it will last, but for the time being, I’m taking what I can get and less TTC stress is high on that “I’ll take it” list.

And my Hubby is fired, he’s mocking me in the other room. Ass 😉 lol.

I think I’m going to enjoy some fake wine, some real coffee, and maybe even a small amount of beer over the next while. And pause this baby nonsense (because I’m at the point where it’s not sensicle to me) and then I’ll just see what happens.

Oh, and my mother told me the other day that I just need to relax. “Dr’s used to tell men to just get their wives drunk”. Really, I just walked away. I couldn’t even dignify that with a conversation continuation. Maybe I should put more efforts into getting rid of my alcohol allergy (maybe shots at the allergists) so that I can just get drunk. lol.

mehh

CD 34.

I can’t bring myself to care about really anything today. Just a general feeling of mehh. And today of all days my phone wont stop ringing. I’ve along answered it for my mom once because she doesn’t stop calling otherwise but every time the phone rings I just cringe. Can’t you have an emotional migraine? I refuse anything to do with reality today and the only reason I haven’t unplugged my phones altogether is the expectation of my hubby calling. Come to think of it I should just call him and the unplug/ turn off my phones.

And my boobs hurt. Not a normal hurt. I can paw myself all I want and I’m fine, but for some reason every time Monster jumps on me it hurts. I don’t think he’s being extra rough.

Have you noticed that all -HPT’s and no Red Lady makes SLC a bitter girl. I shall retreat further away from reality now.

CD 33

That asshat still hasn’t made an appearance. Maybe it will come on friday like my chart seems to think it should. I just can’t agree with it.

The lovely ladies of my book club offered to change the location to my house tonight so that I could attend. I was so happy about this. I miss so many gatherations from Hubby working and I really missed seeing the girls ladies? maybe more accurate but I can’t call myself a lady so we’re sticking to girls. Tonight wasn’t a discussion night, just a gabfest. I had to laugh while we were talking about our lady times. I’m running acutely late now and another is runny over duty. I turned to her and asked her to stop hogging and give me my period back. Try saying that with a straight face, but I did. Or at least give me a +HPT. Make this stupid wait be productive.

I shouldn’t care about this so much. I should not be going crazy about not getting my period, but all this waiting is just that much longer before I can try again. I should just be thanking my lucky stars that I’ve got my health and a good life.

well Frack!

 You want to know what really chaps my ass? I just used a HPT instead of an OPK.

What a waste of a pee.

CD1

Ya, you see it. The Red Lady doth come. Have you ever been so happy to get your period? I actually did a little cheer inside. Of course if I hadn’t been doing those HPT’s and getting BFN’s I’d be completely crushed right now…but as that is not the case I say…

Bring on that coffee!  Frosty’s favorite blend (didn’t know Frosty could tolerate coffee!) And as I lounged in my Lush bath with my coffee, reading my geeky book, I was happy to know that I am finally able to get started again. So I got out, covered myself in sparkles head to toe (thank you Lush for your Shimmy Shimmy bar) because I can, and now I’m going to take the luxury of snuggling with Hubby while watching V for Vendetta. Could you find a better way to start a cycle?

p.s. this may add a little extra sense as to why The Robinsons got to me so bad this morning…lol

What else could this be?

CD 30 DPO 15

I know for most people that being 30 days into a cycle is no big deal. I myself used to have 30-31 day cycle, but that was before either of my miscarriages and I’ve levelled back out at my 26-27 days. I’m trying not to drive myself crazy (trying REALLY hard). I’d even gotten my hopes up that maybe it was just missed. But no, I had another BFN today and there is no way that I wouldn’t have gotten a positive by now if I was pregnant. So now it’s just me being bitter with my body. I’ve got the 99% my period is late, but then there is that 1% little bittle in there making me wonder…what if something else is wrong? I haven’t been super stressed this month (till now, but that’s more a large irritation than a stress), I haven’t been exercising to a point that should even remotely interfere with my cycle, no diet change, no weight change, no illness, no other women around to blend cycles with….I have no clue.

What else could be causing this? I’ve been like clock work since I had my son. A late period is unheard of.

The ass chappery

CD 27 DPO 12

So here I wait for the Red Lady. My temps are still up (as up as I get) so maybe that means that it wont come untill tomorrow…but I still think today. I took another HPT this morning…and another BFN. YAY! It makes me feel all warm and fluffy inside! I don’t know, maybe I killed what little wishful thinking I still had yesterday…or not (why else would I have peed on another ass faced stick today?). But I’m not having that same crushed feeling that I normally get, and I doubt it’s because I have that Kona coffee waiting in my freezer for me (really looking forward to that btw). I really thought I’d have had it this month. Actually having my hubby around, actually having sex when needed, who frackin’ knows. Maybe my ass will get more chapped as once my visitor actually arrives.

So I thought I’d dress pretty today. Monster starts preschool again today and the other mom’s usually see me dressed like a complete slob with no make-up and I know I’ve given the impression of someone who cares nothing about their looks…I dont like that. I thought I’d make an effort to not look like a slob and have an “I feel pretty” day. So I put on some tights (three-quarter length) then a cute leopard print shirt that is a touch loose and then a fun crazy belt that I just got (6 mini buckles at the front) and I looked in the mirror. Who did I see? Not I, but Peggy Bundy was in front of me (not helping that my hair is currently red). It was funny enough that I kept it. At least for now.

p.s. I don’t have big hair.

CD 26 DPO 11

Today marks the beginning of the “pee on a stick” days again. Yes it is a bit early but with my last pregnancy I got a very faint but viewable positive on day 25. So now I indulge myself a bit earlier that I otherwise would. It all depends on how impatient I’m feeling at the time. And this way I can get the wishful thinking out of the way. So let’s go check my stick today…

…aaaaaand a BFN.

yay   :  [

Can you feel the seething sarcasm?

I know that’s no definite, but that’s a pretty good indicator that I’m going to get my period tomorrow or the next day.

Ass-faced stick