Ok, so it’s not that evil, but it’s a plan. Ok, so it’s not a good plan either…but it’s a plan. Here it is. You buy some tight, sexy little dress that there is no way you’re getting into if you gain any weight…then you’ll get pregnant. Flawless, isn’t it.

I’ve been shopping with pretty much one goal for the last 4 years. “Is it growth friendly?”. And let me tell you, it sucks. Before I had Monster I had a style, it was called “tight” with a little extra “skin” in there. I didn’t have it, but I’m the type to figure “if you can make it look like you have it, show it off”. You know those nice cleavage shirts that all the rest of you with the bosoms have? Ya, I’ve got sternum. So my blending friend (also bosomless) and I like to get out “sexy sternum” shirts and dresses. But ever since I had Monster I don’t wear all the sexy clothes that I used to. Part of that is because I no longer fit my only clothes (who wants to see muffin top!?!?! yaya) but then all the clothes that I buy now are, like I said, pregnancy friendly. I’m sure I’ve jinxed myself. I never buy anything fitted or sexy (because really, why do I need to look nice to make dinner?) and I have become the home frump.

So back to my evil plan. I went shopping yesterday and purchased 2 dresses that are not friendly towards weight gain. One of them is even completely impractical untill at least spring. Now I looked at the first one in the store and thought “this is butt ugly”, and it kinda is, but it’s so strange that I love it. It seems to be the new way with me. I love very strange looking clothes. Now it is expansion friendly, just not where it counts, in the boobs. In fact, the bust is so tight, I can’t even wear it with a bra. but that’s fine, it’s so tight it gives the impression of bosoms. The red speaks for itself. How much weight can you gain and still wear that? Both these dresses actually look fantastic on but you can only do so much when you are trying to take a picture of yourself.

The down side is that I have no reason to wear either of these. I might have a wedding next september!