CD 4 …and that no longer means anything here.
Starting tomorrow I will officially be back on birth control and I’m planning on using this asstastic event to bring on the bright side. I’m going to experiment to see if I can drink, lol. Ya, the girl with the alcohol allergy wants a drink. BUT, I actually had a glass of wine at my girlfriends house the other week, a WHOLE glass of wine, which I haven’t been able to do since I was a teen (pre developing allergies to everything under the moon). So I’m going to get a bottle of wine, make sure Hubby is near by in case things go to the shitter (lol, pun intended) and then see if I can have two glasses! I figure since I’m so unfamiliar with alcohol that it would be enough to make me tipsy and we’ll find out if I’m a friendly or belligerent festive participant. Hey, I’ve got to have something to do, right? What do you mean we don’t normally encourage drinking?
So today Hubby and I went to our first therapy session. It was a basic intro in which she found out our basic family info, support network, pregnancy history, and how each of us has dealt with the miscarriages. For me, it was all stuff I’ve talked about before. For Hubby, it was stuff that we’ve touched on and I’ve figured that he’s dealing (or lack there of) with, but it was so good just to hear him say the things. Not that they were particularly nice to hear, but to get them out in the open so we could each know where the other stands.
The main thing that caught my attention when she was talking with Hubby, was the constant use of the word “trauma”. I’ve read with you guys that PTSD seems to be a lot more common than I’d ever dreamed of in our circumstances. And listening to them made me wonder if Hubby didn’t seem to be suffering something similar. And thinking on it, it wouldn’t be surprising. He not only lost two babies with me, but during our last miscarriage he watched me become so critical, so fast, that our local hospital panicked. He finally let it be said that he’s afraid that another pregnancy will result in me dying. This is what I’d been thinking he was going through, but that he hadn’t come right out and said. So now it’s out there and we both know what’s really going on.
All in all, it was a good chat, but still an intro chat. We’re booked to go again in three weeks (that’s how his schedule works with his job) and she gave us some stuff to read. Now I just have to make sure he gets to it.
Hopefully you all will move past this in no time. A miscarriage can be devastating let alone two!! I don’t know what happened with the last but they can be dangerous and scary.
so happy you guys are working on it. Shmerson feels exactly the same way about me – expressing it has made it so much easier to talk about. I think this is a great first step for you guys!
oh – and I would stick to just one glass to start. Trust me on that one.
Ya, getting my hubby to read stuff can be like pulling teeth… I remember when we were going to therapy right after we got married he never did read The Five Love Languages… not even when he got it on CD! *sigh*
We go to our first “infertility” therapy session on May 6th… I hope we both can start dealing with our emotions and start healing. I know you and your hubby will too!
I also wanted to let you know I have given you a blog award! I had to spread the information out over two posts so here are the links:
http://pursuingparenthood.wordpress.com/2011/04/21/a-day-of-good-things/ http://pursuingparenthood.wordpress.com/2011/04/22/making-up-for-my-lazy-moment/
I really need to pay more attention to what blog awards are, cause I haven’t a clue…other than an obvious compliment. so thanks! thats a good list you have going there.
And, not defending your hubby’s lazy goings here, but I have to admit to being guilty of the “not even bothering when I had the CD at my disposal” too. Good intentions, bad follow through.
I’m pretty sure blog awards are just a way of recognizing the blogs that we follow, that have had an impact on us. (Or at least that’s the way I took it?)
It’s true, there are ways that I suck at following through… Scott has probably asked me to email him his itinerary for his flight on Monday like 3 times and I keep forgetting. He had to sit me down in front of my laptop and watch me do it tonight lol.
Hope the reading is going well and helping you all sort through some of the fears and anxieties you’re having.
First-time visitor here- just wanted to say hello. I recently started therapy too after 3 miscarriages. I find it pretty helpful. Good luck to you!
Well, thanks for coming out. It’s good to hear that things are going in a good direction with your councelling, I hope mine stays that way too.