I was introduced to this indirectly by Marie and I’m loving these songs.

CD 11

My goldfish memory is starting to take effect already. I adjust very quickly to any change, simply because I very shortly feel that things have never been any different. So now that I’ve had my hubby back for almost 24 hours, it just feels like normal again, like he was never gone. I admit that I was a smothering shadow to him yesterday, but today I have to remind myself that he’s being all sucky (to Monster) because he’s been gone so long. I have to remind myself not to get irritated that he’s putting on movies and giving him treats, and when I remember why it makes complete sense to me. He may have to go back to work on thursday, but at least he hasn’t heard anything about out of town jobs yet, so that’s nice.

Last night we fantasized about selling our house, downsizing, moving closer to the city, Hubby quitting his job to get a 9-5 and me going back to work part-time so that we could make ends meet and still have a normal life. We honestly have no social life anymore. Hubby always works, and I’m always at home with Monster. We don’t have the extra cash to take holidays or even just have social days going out and doing stuff, so our life has been a stretch just to make ends meet and it’s worn us out. Maybe in the next year we’ll be able to fulfill this fantasy and that would be pretty wonderful. I can’t even imagine what it would be like to have Hubby with me at our family gatherings, to be able to make plans with friends together because we’d know when his time off would be, to raise our kid(s) as a joint effort, to not have people joke about how I’ve just made up having a husband. He’s not a figment of my imagination, but it sure feels like it some times.

Also, I got some lovely chocolate in the mail today from my choco-buddy Elphaba! Thanks, I’m looking forward to this dark chili chocolate especially. I’ve never even heard of it.