CD 25

I really don’t have a lot of hope here, my temps have stayed a steady low…but what if just maybe I was pregnant anyways? Wouldn’t that be just swell? I’m so tired of the waiting. I think that maybe if I could get some goods between the bads, it would just make this feel a bit more doable.

Today taking Monster to preschool, one of the other moms said to me “you should have more” to keep me company while Monster is at school or just to keep me occupied? I know she didn’t mean anything by it, and I probably do stare at her baby more than a normal stranger does, but it just had that hit to it. “Working on it” was all I could manage. The lobby of the church preschool is not exactly the place for a “well I’m trying but the survival rate for my children is at a known 33% so maybe less so far” comment. She’s kinda the only mom there that talks to me too, so I don’t want to come off as a bitch. I guess I’m not too good at making friends, lol. Maybe they can’t take my realness never mind, that a joke with my hubby.

The acupuncturist said that it felt like my period was coming or that I’m just doing really well because my pulse was really strong for a change. Lets hope it’s just from all that exercising I’ve been doing. Although I blew my “exercised every day this year” routine because I was at mummy’s this weekend and was too distracted on saturday to remember. So then I got lazy yesterday too. I knew if I missed one it was all down hill from there. But I got on that stairmaster today and watched  the first half of Clash of the Titans while I did my thing. And yes, it is an awful movie…and yes, I do intend on watching the rest. It’s bad, but at least it not boring like that Robert Pattinson one where he’s a strange teenager who has a shrink move in with him, don’t remember the name, but I got half way though and turned it off. And I NEVER turn something off when I’ve already started it (other than to pause).

On a good note, the acupunturist says that we’re all good to boot the herbs. They seemed to start having a reverse effect on me so now we’re just going to make sure that none of my symptoms that the herbs were for come back with a vengeance.