Last month when my mom’s siblings all came down for my stepbrother’s wedding, my uncle and aunt sat me down and asked if there was something I had to tell. “….no?”, “Oh, ok then, just checking.” I never for one second took this as an insult seeing as they had gone through 8 losses and I knew they were just keeping tabs with how I’m doing and the efforts we’re going through. It was nice to know that someone in the family was truly comfortable enough to talk about everything openly with us/ me.

Yesterday we had my Grampa’s 80 th birthday party and all their children and families got together to celebrate. I’m thinking “this is a rare occasion for me. I wont be ovulating for another ~4-5 days and here is some wine!” I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it before, but I’m allergic to alcohol so my family is used to me having a shot glass of whatever (the max I can tolerate but I like the taste) to sip through dinner. It’s been so long since we’ve gotten together for drinks in that “I can have some” period and when my step-dad was pouring the wine last night he didn’t even ask me. Just walked on by. “can I have a little too?” “you can have the non” “I can have the regular”, big pause “ok”. so he gives me my standard shot glass worth and moves on. Did he think I was pregnant and just hadn’t said anything? Does my whole family think I’m pregnant?

To top this off, this night before, I tried on my dress for the party. I just got this dress a few months ago and  last time I tried it on it was great. but THIS time…it was tight…very tight. I got it on and done up, don’t get me wrong, but if I had anything else that would have matched the party theme I’d have jumped on it.  So is this whats going on? I’m gaining weight and everyone just assumes I’m pregnant? Why the Hell am I gaining weight?! I’ll tell you why. It’s my mother-in-law’s fault! of course not really but she’s the most recent person to bring a bunch of cookies around so it’s her fault and I told her so…Whilst stuffing a cookie in my mouth.  So I’m 28 and my metabolism has shot out on me and since the summer I have noticed more fluctuation in my weight and now people are giving me cookies. These damn cookie are my weakness, everyone has one, and these are mine. and you’re not allowed to blow me off here. I may be very small to start but even 5 pounds (the least I fluctuate) on a girl of 4’10” is very noticeable.

Me: hunny, have a gained weight?

Hubby: Yep.

Me: do I fluctuate a lot?

Hubby: Yep.

Me: Is it very noticeable?

Hubby: Yep.

Me: You ever think of pointing it out?

Hubby: you think you’re the only one putting on weight?

So today I’m hunting on kijiji for an elliptical or stationary bike.

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