Never say……

    (they want this baby! also..maybe they cant have another…)Also this comment is often very offhand…

  • 2. “Now you have angel looking after you” (they didnt want an angel-they want their BABY back!)
  • 3.”its for the best” (How?The best is a successful healthy pregnancy!)
  • 4.”At least you didnt know your baby!”(whether the baby was held in the parents arms or their minds, it was REAL!)
  • 5.”There must have been something wrong” (with me? why?)
  • 6.” Did you do something you werent supposed to do?”(inflicts guilt/how could i have done this to my baby!?)
  • 7.”Have you ever thought of NOT having children!?”(well yes probably!I know i might never be a parent….)
  • 8.”Be grateful for the children you have!”(I am but I still need to mourn the one i have lost!)
  • 9.”It wont happen again”(I never thought it could happen..and to some unlucky people it does happen again!)
  • 10.””Be brave,dont cry”(why not!!!?)
  • 11.”Get on with your life,this isnt the end of the world!”(right now it IS)
  • 12.”You should be over it be now!”( why!?This is not something you just ‘get over’)
  • 13.”Youre young, you’ll get over it” (what does age have to do with pain!?)
  • 14.”Time will heal” (Time will make the pain easier to bear yes,but that is no help at the moment…)
  • 15.”At least it wasnt older” (it still matters and it still HURTS!)
    (In general best not to start with “at least”..it can sound as though you are trying to brush off the tragedy.)
  • 16.”It was Gods will”
    …”God wanted him/her with him”
    …”God needed another flower in his garden” AND so on!

 

http://angiealexander.tripod.com/whatnotsay.html

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